apparently today was Gag-Me-With-a-Spoon Day and i didn't get the memo

so i woke up this morning.

walked from the apartment into the house, and there, in the dining room, is my cousin and my Q'eqchi "sister" eating cereal with dehydrated milk. like, who DOES that?! i'd rather turn to dust from osteoperosis that drink that crap! anyways.

so we hit the road, heading for san luis. went to 9am mass. priest presiding: padre juan, the nuar's uncle. and HAS THE MAN EVER BRUSHED HIS TEETH? the homily was a lil hard to follow (my espanol attention span is even shorter than my english one), so i was idly people-watching. oh, there's so-and-so (i haven't been to san luis for a year and a half), oh, and look how much Blah has grown, oh, and LADY! PUT THAT THING AWAY!!! YOUR BABY HAS OBVIOUSLY FINISHED HER BREAKFAST!!!! wow.

so we head to our friends' for lunch. lunch is good, we are relaxing in chairs and hammocks on their porch, and then...they bust out THE FRUIT FROM HELL! apparently cashews grow on the bottom of another fruit that resembles a red pepper, and is called M-something-something. guatemalans think that M-something-something is edible. but, OH LORD! avoid it at all cost! i took a piece and licked it, and was vaguely grossed out. i looked over in time to see my cousin, katie, grab a piece with a MOUND of salt on it. we both bit into our pieces, and it was a damn good thing that our hostess didn't see our faces. it was like pouring salt all over someone's tongue, then taking a bite out of it and having it taste like boo-tay. oh, and it makes your mouth and throat all dry as if you are strangling, and coats your teeth for the next 5 hours. fun, fun.

the rest of the afternoon involved a GROSSY river (think: tons of litter and water that resembles green sludge), a hog barn, and oodles of chickens with their beaks chopped off.

so we cruise out of town, thinking we are home free. ah, no. little sister betsi decides to get pukey. we had to stop to pick up meds for my dad's clinic, and while chit-chatting with the sweet menonite lady, my sis starts barking at the pavement/calling for dinosaurs/whatever. she hoarfs. like no one's business. upwind.

so it can't get any worse, eh? we get home, we shower, we eat dinner. one item on the menu: buttcheese. didn't know they were allowed to market and sell that! seriously, how can cheese go SO WRONG?!

we are nearing the end of the meal, when my Q'eqchi "sister", Aurelia, pulls out a lil surprise from her uncle. Chicharon. chicharon is not too bad, if you don't know what it is. but i know. i've watched them make it. it is hog skin with the hair scraped off, then fried in fat. yummmmmmmy. i kinda like the taste, so i grab a small piece and pass the bowl on to katie with the warning: take a piece without hair on it. now, guatemalans do a lot of things half-assed. making chicharon is one of those things. basically, there's a lot of pig hair left on their chicharon. katie, not knowing what it was, assumed i meant that there was a human hair on one of the pieces. she nearly lost her dinner when she realized the hair was actually SPROUTING OUT OF THE CHICHARON!

just thought i'd share. hopefully you have a less-than-sensitive gag reflex.