Tuesday

"Heaven knows how we will get there, but we know we will."

what song is that anyways?

i live in a small town. i live in a very small, very boring town. actually i live just out of town, which exaggerates this fact. so every day at work i watch the trains go by. some of them have people in them, people who look out the window. sometimes the trains just have those mysterious boxes that contain never-known but always-pondered things. usually they are log trains, with cute conductors who never notice that i'm waving. BUT. they all go one way. they never come back! where is everyone going?! and why? everyone is going, no one is coming, and only I am staying. but i am happy; i have come and i have gone, and now is my time to stay. and i love it.

"At least i've still got my books..." (i love that show).

umm...sexy-licious

i sweat like a pig today. is the past tense of sweat really sweat? just checking. no, really--it was gross. it was approximately 2 degrees this morning, and nearing 200 by afternoon. the girl i work with actually had a blanket around her as we drove our tractors around town. unfortunately that gave another coworker the idea that today should be costume day or something, so he picked out a crazy hat for each of us to wear. oh lord, you should have seen the heads turn! by 10am tho, we had shed the blanket and whatever else we could without losing our jobs too. luckily our afternoon task involved using fire hoses (much cooler!). not-so-luckily, the said task was hosing down the stubborn shit (oh yes, i actually mean the bodily function) that gets stuck to the sides of the clarifiers at the waste treatment plant. i try not to think about it. Ahh, what a beautiful day! Oh, the sky is so clear, the birds are singing, the mist from the cool water...OH! EEEWWW! I GOT SOME ON ME!!!!!, I think *pleasantly* as I work. hmm, college is more tempting by the day. but i do have a nice tan.

Sunday

my blood pressure update

my gas pedal no longer gets stuck down. this is a good thing. yes indeed. you see, my days used to start like this: i wake up a little before 7am, earlier if i'm house/pet/whatever-sitting, throw on some clothes, grab a nutritious breakfast to eat on the way (a pack of WalMart Fruit Smiles, umm...best way to start the day!), and jump in the car. by this point i'm usually wrestling with the stupid little Fruit Smiles foil baggy, balancing a cup of tea/juice/milk/other liquid, and shifting as i head out of the driveway. it is at this point that my ol' friend The Sticky Gas Pedal would start HIS day. well, joy of joys, the end of my driveway is a toss up. it's one of those blind entrances where you have to execute either a go-hella-fast-and-hope-you-beat-any-car-truck-or-bus-that-might-be-coming, or an inch-slowly-into-the-roadway-and-pray-that-they-see-you-first. not a fun decision to make at 7am, but luckily Mr. Sticky Pedal usually made it for me. well once i got onto the actual road it only got better. i live at the top of a long steep hill. the long steep hill takes a sharp right at the bottom, so while breezing down at an *exhilarating* clip i have the pleasure of staring straight into the murky creek at the bottom, wondering how deep it really is. assuming i made it thru that curve, the road then ends abruptly at a T and a stop sign. usually i'd have managed by this time to throw the truck into neutral and find a radio station that was suitable for the mood. i mean, who wants to die during a commercial? ah, but now...NOW my mornings are peaceful, i am $200 lighter, and my blood pressure has come back down into the normal range. life is good.

the oak chair

sorry guys, i got all creative this morning when i accidentally woke up 2 hours early. i think it had something to do with my drinking a vat of chai tea at 3am. ah joy.

I went recently to visit an aquaintance of mine. It was a pleasant time, and as the afternoon progressed we moved from room to room in her home. We passed through some briefly; others were more conducive to socializing and we lingered in those. My aquaintance moved with me through the rooms, but she became rather disconnected, almost uncomfortable, in the deeper rooms of her home. She was clearly more at ease in the sunnier, less complicatedly decorated outer rooms.

I, on the other hand, greatly desired to move to the deeper rooms, and to pass our time there. She noticed this and eventually commented on it, saying, "People don't like to spend time in here anymore. It's so much nicer to sit in the light, wicker furniture on the porch and just watch the world go by, you know?" Yet I pressed on, despite her growing discomfort and desire to have a "cheery" or "pleasant" visit.

In one room I discovered that she had some beautiful but sturdy oak furniture, covered in a thick coating of dust. One particularly solid and ornate piece--a chair--caught my eye. The thing must weigh a ton, I thought. As I moved closer, hoping we could dust it off and examine it together, she exclaimed, "Oh! Oh my! This is rather awkward for me! No one has furniture like this anymore; only odd people who read lots of books, and ones who don't care that they are different. Chairs like this can be troublesome, I mean its legal to have them and all, but sometimes I wonder if the system is very keen on that. You see, people who have chairs like these don't buy regular ones, but rather read books by old carpenters and then build their own. Their chairs are sturdy and remain after they die, then the next generation fills in the cracks and varnishes them, making them more durable and sound. Soon their friends start doing the same. I wish I could just get rid of mine; they aren't pleasant or comfortable."

I pondered what she said and realized that I know quite well what she meant. Many are happy with the cheap assembly-line chairs we sat in all day in school, even around the dinner table growing up. They are nice looking and have comfortable little cushions on them. The same MANY see the benefit in them, and eventually buy their own set during or after college. But not me. I will learn from the true carpenters, and build my own set of heavy oak chairs. If it takes the rest of my life, I will have no regrets. I will pass them on and my children won't have to start from scratch...maybe they will have time then to build a table!

"Let's go back out to the porch and have some lemonade.", she suggested (or demanded?). I agreed reluctantly. But as we left the room I slyly brushed some dust off her prize chair.

am i demented?

i enjoyed silence of the lambs a few weeks ago, and absolutely was enthralled by red dragon last night. is that weird? i mean i didn't particularly enjoy the grossy blood parts, but i find hannibal SO enthralling. how is he so smart? crazy sauce.

Friday

from the quote book...

When you ain't got nothin', you got nothin' to lose. -Bob Dylan

and that's that.

i'm going to do it. it's final. kind of...i have yet to buy my tickets. details. but EUROPE: HERE I COME!!!!

Thursday

lumberJILL?

"So, we're going to climb it, right?"

Her question took me a bit by surprise, partially because it was exactly what I was thinking, but also because it broke the silence that was so complete. We were above the town, so high above it that we could see P_____, the next closest city (about 25 miles away). We watched the cars and their passengers alternately crawl and scurry about hour after hour, day after day as we worked. It was the end of a long week of playing lumberjack...lumberjill?...we are both female, after all. Friday afternoon. We had just perfectly felled the last tree--a new chainsaw blade, slice in 1/3 of the way, remove saw, into the same side again, a perfect wedge falls out, then backcut 'til it starts to fall. Get the saw out fast so it doesn't get hung up, watch out for the butt-end of the tree so it doesn't pop up at you. K jumped and ran; it was falling sooner than she expected. We limbed the tree and sectioned it up, then loaded the truck. I resisted the urge to count the rings on the stump, and turned away. This is not a good job for someone with a hippy streak...like me, I thought as I took off my oh-soo-sexy orange safety chaps and removed my earplugs. I set my chainsaw in the back of the truck, thinking that the 15 minutes we had left in the workweek would be just enough time...

"So we're going to climb it, right?", she asked. "Hell yeah!", I responded and straightened up to appraise IT. There are two, to be exact. They are monstrous, hold well over a half-million gallons of water each, and are more than 90 feet high. The ladders are fairly high off the ground and have locked cages around them. Hmm. Less than 20 seconds of analyzing, manouvering, and shimmying later I was in the ladder-cage. Ninety feet of straight-into-the-air ladderclimbing is definitely a cardiovascular workout. And then...the view we thought we had before was nothing! Four major snowcovered peaks, the Columbia River, the clouds and mist, the breeze, all that is NW America! Glorious!

But then...we both stepped on the same panel of the top and it buckled in. We jumped back, scared shitless at the thought of falling into a million gallons of water, so dark and SO alone. It popped right back out, but the enjoyment was slightly dampened and the sound of a nearby car reminded us that we are risking our lives and our livelyhoods (our sole sources of income) for a little fun. Hmm, time to descend to earth where we belong. There are other days, other places...


a typical M. family conversation

Me: B! Sit still! What, do you have pinworms or something?

Uncle M: Pinworms?! What are pinworms?

Me (rather embarrassed that the textbook answer is still engrained in my memory): A type of parasite that lives on the anus of mammals.

Uncle M: Oh God! Really?! How big are they?

B (full of 14 y. o. snottiness): The size of a pin, DUH.

Uncle M: A bowling pin!? A clothespin?

...and so on and so forth...

Wednesday

why not a dozen roses?

i don't understand why love necessarily involves powerwashing a large object. is this a common phenomenon? i've never heard of it. but it is par for the course for me. why? why not a candlelit dinner? no, it's boiling hot pressurized water and an earthmover or a house or...ugh. ah well, that's what i get for being a tomboy i guess.

Saturday

ice age?

so, i work in the sun day after day, week after week in 100-degree-plus weather. yet i survive knowing that in a few short days i will be floating on the lake in an inner tube, ridding myself of my farmer's tan, and cooling off with a dip in the lake when needed/desired. well, guess what folks: those few short days are over and here i am at the lake. however the bloody temperature here is merely HALF the norm, so instead i am wearing every article of clothing i brought, every blanket from the bed, and i am frigging cold. 45 degrees last night. that's right. can't win.

Thursday

hmm...

any hints on putting those nifty little links to my friends' blogs that everyone else has? i'm hopeless/helpless.

technoshmology

ah yes, so here i am. i've joined the likes of you all, turning thoughts into strange combinations of visible figures that people can look at miles away and somehow have the same thoughts as i. strange.