my lush friends... not.

FREE BEER! (remember when it used to be funny to write that to get people's attention, then in smaller type to write the real purpose of the note, like, "no, just kidding. we're having a raffle for kids with leukemia." or, "that got your attention, didn't it? math study group at 8 tonight." jerks.)

so we had a bunch of folks from our birth class over yesterday. we've all stayed in touch and gotten together about once a month to compare notes (and babies). we also had our new friends becky and mark and their two babes over. while planning the party, i said in the evite that we would provide the beer.

long story short (if it's not already too late for "shortness"), i nearly purchased a pony keg. i thought, well, we're all still on our first kids, so we probably still have some party in us. moments before making the last moves on a pony keg selection, i decided to do a little more research. well, apparently pony kegs are EIGHTY-SIX 12oz glasses of beer. which means each party guest would need to consume about 7 1/2 glasses of beer. now we certainly have friends who would gladly drink 7 1/2 glasses of beer on a sunday afternoon, but we started having doubts about the drinking stamina of this particular crowd.

so we went with plan B: a couple 12 packs, a few 6 packs, and the makings for gin n tonics.

after everyone left last night, my husband started gathering up the empties. he commented that he had to dump out an inch or two from each bottle. no one had completely finished their beers. after that job was done, he decided to count them. the grand total?... drum roll... twelve. yes, TWELVE beers. that's twelve empties, not twelve beers left. and don thinks two of them were ours from the night before.

now we have a fridge full of beer, and a garbage pail full of beers floating around in now-lukewarm water. so, FREE BEER at our place!

God is watching

last week i stole a book called, The Moral Compass, edited by William J. Bennett (he also compiled The Book of Virtues).

yes, you read that right. STOLE. and MORAL COMPASS. talk about irony...

(well, ok, it was their fault for not scanning the book, and i'm too lazy to go back across town to give them four measly dollars.)

wow. oh, wow.

http://www.clevercuties.com/shopexd.asp?id=236

explosion of spring

nothing to jumpstart spring cleaning like the unexpected explosion of whipped cream from the CO2-charged dispenser. everything was covered with whipped cream splatters... from the sewing machine in one corner, to my husband's "office" in another, to the high chair and "Fast Boots'" rucksack in the 3rd corner, and all over me and my formerly-clean hair. EVERYWHERE, that is, except on my waffle.

awww...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Singer

also, "just 15 percent of global warming proponents shown on network television are scientists, while the remaining 85 percent are politicians, celebrities and ordinary men and women..."

and, "The results of a Canadian survey of 51,000 earth scientists and engineers by the Association of Professional Engineers, Geologists and Geophysicists of Alberta, released March 6, showed that 68 percent disagreed with the statement 'the debate on the scientific causes of recent climate change is settled.'"

from The Trumpet

mothers day

today is the day after mothers day. which means that it was one year ago today that i discovered i was a mother for the first time! which means that yesterday was the first day that i, too, got the special blessing in church, the special rose from the restaurant, and the free strawberry shortcake. dude, labor is SO worth it!

funny story, my sister was supposed to have a baby on her birthday this year, but she said from the beginning of the pregnancy, "i am NOT having this baby on my birthday. i REFUSE to labor on my birthday." well, she got her way... and labored all day on mothers day instead!

so, cheers to anna for a successful VBAC! now baby mark has a teensy girl cousin named helen, in addition to his 19-month old boy cousin named charlie. yay!

12% of the 300 Protestant clergy surveyed admitted to sexual intercourse with a parishioner; 38% acknowledged other inappropriate sexual contact in a study by the United Methodist Church, 41.8 % of clergy women reported unwanted sexual behavior; 17% of laywomen have been sexually harassed. Meanwhile, 1.7% of the Catholic clergy has been found guilty of pedophilia. 10% of the Protestant ministers have been found guilty of pedophilia.

-Sam Miller, Jewish businessman

i surfed in waikiki!!!!*

*on a 12-ft. board, for 30 seconds or less, with my husband pushing the board. but whatever. i have a gash in my foot and a tan to prove it. so there.

un-brilliant invention

spray-on sunscreen: great idea... right?

not so much. it comes out of the bottle freezing cold with a loud SHHHHPRAY-ing noise. neither of these details matter much to grown folk, but they are enough to send my 3-month old into terrified shrieks and sobs every time. now i walk 10-15 feet away, spray the crap on my hands, rub them together to warm it up, then walk back and apply it to the oh-so-white baby.

but really, i'd gladly do anything for him at this point, because he didn't let out a peep during the entire SIX HOUR plane ride! (also, he pees on the potty every time i ask him to, and does the ol' number two in the proper receptacle about half the time.* he rocks.)


*just in case anyone else is keeping score...