since i've been home...

since i've been home, i've lived on tea, mozzarella and raisin pecan bread sandwiches, and peach yogurt. today i added a new twist: noodles with mozzarella cheese and spices!

since i've been home, first my list of references, and now my resume have decided to take a bleeping hike and lose their bleeping selves somewhere in the depths of the computer. yes, the ones that i NEED in order to get a job. yes, also the same ones that i spent HOURS making.

since i've been home, i've been to or called every single business in my town looking for work. i LOATHE filling out applications. i think i'd rather have gangrene. the last one on the list was WalMart. but today i lowered myself to their standards and applied on the little machine in the back where the layaway lady talked to everyone very enthusiastically and toothlessly about whatever they were laying away.

since i've been home, i've decided that if my little sister had a fan club i would join it. read this:
Dear Clara! Mom just remembered that today there is Palabra de Dios at church so she hurried off to finish up her work. When I read your blog I started crying. I imagened you all alone crying. I wanted to be able to give you a big hug and cry with you. I love you tones and miss alot. I'm really looking forward to seeing you. I hope we don't fight to much. Hugs, B

since i've been home, i've been talking to OT (no, not Old Testament) almost everyday. i still don't know what to think. he doesn't usually initiate contact, but if i text him he'll call me and talk for up to an hour. what does that mean? i haven't texted him all day, so he hasn't texted me. i guess we'll wait and see if he really calls me at 9 like he said he would. i hate this game. it sucks that we have one huge incompatibility, but i decided that I CAN CHANGE HIM! oh yeah, that incompatibility is the fact that i firmly believe that The Grateful Dead can, indeed, "really sing that sweet soul music", but OT does not. i don't know what his deal is. what's not to like?

since i've been home, in old news, i saw ER once (no, not Emergency Room). we didn't have much to talk about, which indicates to me that we didn't really have that much in common to begin with. oh well.

since i've been home, i've been sleeping SO much, wearing different clothes every day (i haven't even unpacked my backpack full of crusty clothes that i wore for 2 months), gazing at the misty tree-covered hills, checking out rainbows over the river, watching deer in my front yard, playing with the dog and cat, hoping my life won't change from the way it is now, yet wishing it were all different and not so very lonely, getting increasingly nervous about school, and wondering why i feel SO OLD.